Taking Back My Uterus
(CAUTION: Not for the faint of heart. Strong languge used)
Welcome to my once a month blog. It replaces my usual once a month that use to dictate my life up until two years ago. My uterus had to be removed because it was literally falling out of me. I couldn’t help but to celebrate this necessary surgery. I would no longer be held prisoner by my period. Ask any of my closest friends who often heard the words, “No I can’t go out, I have my period.” The first 3 days were the hardest. But they lasted a whole week. They felt like a volcano erupting; violently erupting in fact. They were debilitating. And I craved red meat like a rabid dog. Which was also difficult because red meat does not agree with me. I find it difficult to digest. So cramps on top of cramps was not something I looked forward to. But there were moments of weakness when I gave in and ate it anyway. Like a hungry vampire to a deer in the woods. I am not proud of doing that to myself. Trust me, more pain down there was the last thing I wanted.
On February 11, 2013 when my uterus finally came out I felt like a new woman, I was free. But I couldn’t help but remember what a male friend of mine blurted out once upon a time. He asked one of his lady friends, right in front of me, if she felt like less of a woman now that she had her uterus removed. Good thing he didn’t ask me that question. I would have politely grabbed his balls, pulled real hard on them and asked him he felt like less a man now that his balls were in my hand. What a K-nut! (my made up swear word so that I do not anger the C-word haters out there).
Who says that??? And I don’t mean the word cunt. Opps! I mean who would ask a woman such a personal question? Other than her therapist.The answer my friend, is blowing out the broad side of me. The answer is that I have never felt freer or more like a woman in my life. Since the red river dried up between my legs I have discovered new territory. And the landscape is lovelier than two kids before. My lady parts were carefully placed into the skillful hands of trusted medical professionals who made me look and feel all brand new. Oh, have I mentioned that this blog gets really up close and personal? If it’s not your thing, now would be the time to move along. Sorry if I made you inhale too quick with all my labia like talk.
Since February 11, 2013 I hardly ever crave red meat and I have a ton more energy. I don’t have to say no to yoga, or going to a movie with a friend. I no longer have to lay down a towel before I sit on my own couch and I no longer have to wear two super absorbent pads at a time. Tampons were out of the question after giving birth because they ripped me “from stem to stern,” as me ‘mudder’ would say. Fun times!
February 11, 2013 was the first day of my freedom. The first day that I began to gain my spirit back. I made a promise to myself after that surgery. I promised to never let anything or anyone hold me back again. And I haven’t.
Please join me on my once a month journey. I promise to reveal my secrets; even the ones you might not want to hear. I will share my story of how I was finally able to let go of all the shame, of all the guilt and all the crap that kept me from being the real woman that I am. I make no apologies for that. I finally love myself. And I finally know what I want out of life more than ever before. I hope you can say the same. It is a wonderful feeling.
P.S. If you like those cute black and white undies’ featured on the homepage of my blog here is the link. I didn’t design them or anything. I just like them.