When I picked up The Power of Intention four years ago, I had no idea how profoundly it would change my path. It is no accident that I was meant to find Dr Dyer at a time in my life when I was deeply questioning my faith, or lack there of. I never felt I knew the God that my Christian family spoke of. Not until an old man with a bald head came into my life. These of course are just descriptors of a soul’s outer shell. Its human side. To describe this man’s spirit would be something all together different. There aren’t enough words to fill in all the blanks that make up the story of Wayne Dyer. But I can tell you my side of the story if you will allow me.
On May 14, 2011 I had the amazing opportunity to sit in the same room as Dr Dyer. I discovered my faith that night while my dad’s fate was only just days away. My father’s spirit passed just 5 days later on May 19, 2011. He finally found his peace.
(May 21, 2011)
Dear Dr Dyer,
I sit here searching. For words. The right words. Just one week ago I sat in the same room as you. There were hundreds of others but I barely noticed them. I planted myself on the floor at the back of the room. I didn’t want to be noticed. I no doubt looked pale, tired, worn out. All those things a person becomes when they allow worry to set in. I do my best to stay positive but things still get to me. Grief still finds a way in, no doubt through a whole in my heart.
Sitting there I could still see you, the light around you was magnificent. Your energy filled the room. As I listened, I began to let go of my pain. I relaxed a little more into the floor. I stretched when I needed and by the end of the night I felt my spirit shift. During the meditation closing I prayed, deeply. I asked for something. I usually don’t ask for anything. Praying is quite a new thing for me. But I asked for peace, for my dad.
Two days later he gathered us all to his bedside and said his last good-byes. My dad’s brother Terry, his wife Lily and his sister Judy came to visit only just a few days ago. They had not realized how bad my dad really was until they arrived. He didn’t want those that he loved to worry. But now that they were here they worried. When he called us all to his bedroom, he held our hands and asked us not to worry. He said his pain was finally all gone. He said he felt peace, he said he felt God. He said he was ready.
The very next morning he was taken by ambulance to the hospital. The suffering he endured through those last days was unlike anything I have ever seen. I still cannot put it into words. But I will continue to search. Continue to try and find a way to say the good-bye that he wanted to me say. His service is tomorrow. I already know what his final wishes are. We talked about them a couple of months back. Just when I thought that was the worse day of my life, I am realizing that tomorrow will be harder. But I am glad I had that day to find out what he really wanted. I know I will find the strength I need to get through just one more day. And I will then find the strength to get through the next, and then the next. I have to. It is what he would have wanted.
Would you believe me if I told you that I could feel him in the air that very morning after his passing? I could. I cannot explain how, but I could. I can still feel him now and hope that I always will. My prayer was not that I wanted my father to die but that I wanted him to be free. He held on for so long, enduring pain and so much suffering. He held on for us. I think it’s now time for the rest of us to let go. It won’t be easy. But I know its possible.